I'm leaving tonight.
I don't mean that, do I?
I am SO not ready to leave. I love it here. When I first moved here, I never thought I'd become so attached. I didn't particularly like my house, the weather was never good enough, the winters were too cold, our school was too boring, and on and on...
And today, I live in the most beautiful house on the whole planet, I can't imagine life without the mountains and the clouds, I'm going to miss out on all the snow fun, school is better than ever, and I can't imagine five months away without my best friends, or being able to come home and cry to my mommy when I need to.
It is entirely true that you don't know what you've got till you lose it (or are about to).
I keep having to remind myself (actually, my mom reminds me) that all these things will still be here when I get back.
I told her I've been listening to depressing country music about leaving home and whatnot (I hate country music). She told me to stop, but I've been doing it anyway, and this is what stuck: "she couldn't wait to get going, but wasn't quite ready to leave." I know that's super corny, but that about sums it up.
I know this is going to be a great experience - I picked the best organization I could find, they found a family for me that I'm so happy to have, and I have so much support from home. Still, though, five months... that's a long time to go without a hug from my mom. Not quite ready to leave.
I don't know if I'm supposed to always be cheerful or something on here, but that's out the window at this point. :P
Seriously, though, to any new AFSers that read this: Obviously this is a hard part of the exchange, and I'm being pretty dramatic about it; but anyone who's gone, is going, or is getting ready to go (that's me!) can tell you that your exchange will be so worth all the heartache that comes with it.
So: I plan on crying all the way there, then sucking it up and making the best of it with the hundreds of other exchange students that are doing the same thing. And it'll be alright. :)
If you read through this, and think I'm a sap... well, there you have it. :) Thanks for reading anyway.
p.s. Oh! I talked to my host family yesterday morning. They must think I'm a total idiot, because I forgot most of the things I was going to say to them. But they were so kind, and so patient. :) They even let me talk to their daughter, who's fluent in English. Which was also wonderful. :)
I'm really excited, because I didn't know what school would be like - I though they'd have me enrolled in all math classes or something - turns out I'm taking all literature/language/a couple hours of math classes. Hooray! :D
I can't wait to meet them - even if I can't understand most of what they're saying, they just seem so wonderful.